So, this is really weird to try to do a summary for, so it'll probably be really short and I won't go through the review skills stuff, I'll just stick on what the new material is for the chapter.
1. Using Conversations to Solve Problems
Problem solving is the last step to Gottman's emotion coaching.
Validation needs to happen before problem solving can happen. Once the child feels understood, then you're ready for problem solving (step 5)-- if you need it.
Step #5: Setting limits while helping the child problem solve.
Problem solving is where the parents help the child by guiding thinking into appropriate ways to handle uncomfortable feelings. i.e. You can understand that your child was angry with his brother, but hitting isn't allowed. So you can problem solve together about what else he can do since he's angry.
FIRST: parents should help children decide what they want to accomplish related to the problem.
SECOND: Help the child think of as many solutions as possible. (Parents, respond non judgmentally to all suggestions)
THIRD: Help the child evaluate the solutions based on family values and consequences and then choose one that seems appropriate.
2. Family routines help children feel loved and safe
Routines build structure in a child's life so they can come to expect to do certain things and to feel that they can be competent in participating in daily life.
3. Developing routines using play, attention and praise
The key is for parents to be deliberate and consistent in their use of routines. The routines that occur frequently are going to impact the parent-child relationship the most.
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